"Out In The Silence: A Film Everybody Should See"

by Christopher Haight for the Daily Kos - Fri., Jan. 27, 2012:

Today marks the end of No Name-Calling Week, which was created by the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN) to bring attention to name-calling in schools. From the website:


No Name-Calling Week was inspired by a young adult novel entitled "The Misfits" by popular author, James Howe. The book tells the story of four best friends trying to survive the seventh grade in the face of all too frequent taunts based on their weight, height, intelligence, and sexual orientation/gender expression. Motivated by the inequities they see around them, the "Gang of Five" (as they are known) creates a new political party during student council elections and run on a platform aimed at wiping out name-calling of all kinds. The No-Name Party in the end, wins the support of the school's principal for their cause and their idea for a "No Name-Calling Day" at school.

Motivated by this simple, yet powerful, idea, the No Name-Calling Week Coalition created by GLSEN and Simon & Schuster Children's publishing, consisting of over 40 national partner organizations, organized an actual No Name-Calling Week in schools across the nation. The project seeks to focus national attention on the problem of name-calling in schools, and to provide students and educators with the tools and inspiration to launch an on-going dialogue about ways to eliminate name-calling in their communities.

Of course, many of us are well aware of the existence of name-calling in our schools. And those of us who were unfortunate enough to be on the receiving end of it certainly don't need to be reminded of how destructive it is in young people's lives.

One particular day in middle school sticks out in my mind. Probably because it summarizes my entire early adolescence. I was in gym class, which was my least favorite class for obvious reasons. I refused to get changed or shower (for obvious reasons), which already made me suspect, not that I wasn't already. We had to play some game that involved locking arms with another person. Needless to say, there was not a line to lock arms with me. In fact, when there were only two of us left, the other person refused to touch me. I'll never forget the look in his eyes. It was as if I was a piece of trash. And truthfully, that's how I felt.

I had a pretty shitty school experience, to say the least. If I wasn't the faggot (which I was pretty much every day, as my peers knew before I did that I was gay), I was the fat-ass. I could count my friends on one hand. From about sixth grade until high school, I went through pure hell. Had I not believed in hell, I probably would have been suicidal. I certainly wished for death.

No violence was ever committed against me. For the most part, I wasn't touched. It was all words. Words matter. Words can kill. They didn't kill me, but they killed my spirit for years to come and profoundly fucked me up in ways that I'm still grappling with to this day. Yes, words really do matter. I was one of the lucky ones.

Given my own personal experience, I feel a little bad that I haven't at least written something for No Name-Calling Week. It has been a busy week, and I just remembered today that No Name-Calling Week is coming to a close. I think a good way to end No Name-Calling Week is to recommend a film that tackles the subject (and many others) in a moving and deeply inspiring way. The film is called Out in the Silence.


I first heard about Out in the Silence when I received an e-mail about its screening in my old city, Erie, Pennsylvania. I went to the screening and was able to meet Joe Wilson and Dean Hamer (yes, that Dean Hamer), the filmmakers. By the end of the film, I was in tears. It hit really close to home.

Out in the Silence is a documentary that takes place, interestingly enough, about a half an hour down the road from where I grew up, in Oil City, Pennsylvania. This is a deep-red part of the state, in what I call the Alabama section of Pennsylvania, where tolerance is in short supply. It follows the experience of CJ, a gay teen who had to leave school because the bullying was so brutal. None of the teachers or administrators cared, which is really highlighted in one scene of the film in which a school board member laughs during a meeting when CJ's mom asks what is being done about the bullying situation. The film follows CJ's struggle to get the school board to address the problem of bullying in the school district, a struggle that takes him all the way to Harrisburg and ends with ACLU intervention.

That's not all, though. The film also addresses the homophobic culture of the area, which helps enable bullies in the first place. It looks at the uproar over the filmmakers' wedding announcement when it was published in the local newspaper. It features Diane Gramley of the AFA of Pennsylvania as the main villain who fights progress in northwestern Pennsylvania, however slight, tooth and nail, even going so far as to sabotage a local lesbian couple's business's grand opening.

Out in the Silence is about more than CJ and Diane Gramley and a bunch of backwoods bigots, though. It's about a town's gradual evolution. The film is a hopeful one which traces the evolution of a local preacher, who railed against the wedding announcement in the beginning of the film and joined CJ in Harrisburg in the end. It's about humans' capacity for change, and it points to a future in which teens like CJ won't have to drop out of school because of intolerance.

In short, it's a film everybody should see. And I really wish it was mandatory viewing for youth. It might make a few think twice before throwing "fag" or any other hurtful word (anti-gay or not) around. It's really short (under an hour) and available for free on Hulu. Here's the trailer:

Former Dallastown School Board Member Opposes Screening of Gay Film

Hmmmm -- Fox News says that "Out In The Silence" is "a film about a small town struggling with a fear of homosexuality in their schools and community." We thought it was about courageous small town folks challenging bigotry and discrimination and building the movement for inclusion, fairness and equality for all.

"Out in the Silence" Screened by Dallastown Area High School Gay-Straight Alliance
WPMT - Pennsylvania's Fox News - York - Harrisburg - Lancaster - Lebanon

Dallastown (York County) -- On Wednesday, Out in the Silence, a film based on the struggle of gay life in Oil City, Pennsylvania was shown as part of Dallastown Area High School's anti-bullying week.

The hour long documentary sponsored by the high school's Gay-Straight-Alliance was shown as an educational tool for the community.

Lori Riddle, advisor to the group said, "They are people too, they have real lives, stories and heart breaks."

But some people disagree that the school should not have been the backdrop for a gay themed film.

Carroll Tignall, a former Dallastown Area School District board member, said, "I'm concerned about the purpose of the event and that's why I am here to find out more about it."

Tignall added, "I'm concerned why the school facilities are being used and personnel for the event."

Despite the opposition from some, the Alliance made it clear under accordance with the district and the law they are a district sponsored organization. Riddle said, "This is no different than the school showing a movie night and the Prayer Club having a meeting at the pole."

Tignall responded saying, "That sounds like a third grade response."

See the Fox News video report HERE.

Youth Activism Award Winners Announced!

Highlighting and honoring courageous young people who are speaking out to end anti-LGBT bullying, bigotry and discrimination in their schools and communities, the winners of the First Annual Out In The Silence Award for Youth Activism for 2011 are:

Grand Prize ($1,500): Farrington High School Gay-Straight Alliance, Honolulu
Impact Award ($750): Oregon Student Equal Rights Alliance, statewide
New Group Award ($500): Equality Club-Arapahoe Community College, Littleton, Co

FROM FILM TO CAMPAIGN TO NATIONAL AWARD
by Joe Wilson & Dean Hamer, Out In The Silence Campaign

Two years ago, as stories about the alarming rates of anti-gay bullying and youth suicide were beginning to receive national attention, we started traveling to small towns and rural communities across the country with Out In The Silence, our PBS documentary about the brutal bullying of a gay teen and his family's courageous call for accountability, to raise awareness about the problems and help people develop solutions.

While the campaign revealed that tremendous challenges remain for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) people in cities small and large, it also introduced us to the vibrant new, youth-led equality movement that was emerging - with little or no recognition or support from established advocacy groups - to push for change at the community level in powerful and exciting new ways.

Inspired by these bold efforts, we launched a new national Award for Youth Activism to encourage, highlight and honor creative and courageous young people and their work to call attention to bullying and harassment and promote safe schools and communities for all.

The award competition was announced this past June in partnership with GLSEN, the Gay, Lesbian & Straight Education Network. In no time, more than 100 student, youth and ally groups, coast-to-coast and beyond, registered to participate by committing to hold free public events throughout the month of October, which marks LGBT History Month, Ally Week and National Coming Out Day. The events included a wide range of activities - from film screenings, town hall forums and information fairs to art exhibitions, spoken word and original musical performances.

The program exceeded all expectations, and today, International Human Rights Day 2011, we're excited and honored to announce the winners of the first annual:

Out In The Silence Award for Youth Activism

The $1,500 GRAND PRIZE AWARD goes to the Farrington High School Gay-Straight Alliance of Honolulu, HI for "Going Loud," an October 21st student-led program, attended by more than 200 people, that included a day-long art showcase, live music, spoken word performances, ethnic food fair, film screening and discussion, launch of a "Safe Space Program" outreach campaign, and featured presentations by Farrington High School students and Principal Al Carganilla, Hawai'i Supreme Court Justice Sabrina McKenna, Family Court Judge Paul Murakami, and popular Hawaiian comedian Augie T.


Not only did "Going Loud" organizers manage to bring together an incredible array of community sponsors and supporters to help amplify the event's message during two months of online and community outreach, promotion, and education, they re-invigorated a dormant peer-to-peer support group at the high school and succeeded in involving local middle school students, the Boys and Girls Club of Hawai'i, and members of a large conservative Evangelical church. Perhaps most importantly, they used the film, and their extraordinary voices and creativity, to demonstrate that homophobic and transphobic bullying, harassment and discrimination are experienced by, and must be addressed across, all ethnic, racial, class, gender, geographic, and religious groups. Youth in the Rainbow Nation are on the move!


The $750 Impact Award goes to the Oregon Student Equal Rights Alliance, which coordinated film screening, discussion and speak-out events throughout October on campuses all across the state - including Southern Oregon University Ashland (pictured), University of Oregon Eugene, Eastern Oregon University La Grande, Lane Community College Eugene, Western Oregon University Monmouth, and Portland State University - "to call attention to the day-to-day lives of LGBTQ students, educate the public about issues faced by LGBTQ youth, and call people to take action on campus and in communities for inclusion, equality, and access to higher education for LGBTQ students in Oregon."

The events reached hundreds of college and high school students, community and campus leaders, and administrators, parents, and allies. And the best part is, these events were just the beginning. OSERA is committed to using momentum generated by the events to continue promoting justice for the LGBTQ community, changing diversity and tolerance trainings to help prevent gender discrimination, and strengthening state anti-bullying legislation.


The $500 New Group Award goes to the Equality Club at Arapahoe Community College in Littleton, CO, for a National Coming Out Day event that brought more than 250 people together to see and hear, like never before on this conservative small town campus, the faces, voices and concerns of LGBT students and their allies. Spearheaded by a young military veteran and his organizing team, the events included film screenings and powerful coming out stories and discussions, a panel about discrimination and its effects by former armed services members, the formation of a new campus "Safe Zone" program, and a celebratory public balloon release to help people let go of their fears and announce a new era of visibility and equality for all in the region.

To these three extraordinary groups, CONGRATULATIONS and THANK YOU for your hopeful activism!

In addition to the award winners, several other groups that participated in the program and did amazing work on their campuses and in their communities deserve an Honorable Mention:

Naugatuck Valley Community College Gay-Straight Alliance - Waterbury, CT
Queer Action at Virginia Commonwealth University - Richmond, VA
Hammond High School Gay Straight Alliance - Columbia, MD
Community College of Baltimore County Rainbow Club & Honors Program - Essex, MD
Ringling College of Art & Design Gay Straight Alliance - Sarasota, FL
West Chester University's LGBTQA Services - West Chester, PA
St. Xavier University Alliance - Chicago, IL
Broward College Gay Straight Alliance - Ft. Lauderdale, FL
Aragon High School Gay Straight Alliance - San Mateo, CA
Blackburn College Common Ground - Carlinville, IL

Thank you all and stay tuned for announcements about how to support and participate in the 2012 Out In The Silence Award for Youth Activism.

Out In The Silence Award for Youth Activism 2011 Shortlist Contenders Announced

The shortlist of contenders for the First Annual Out In The Silence Award for Youth Activism were announced today.


The awards, a $1,500 Grand Prize Award, $750 Impact Award, and $500 New Group Award, will highlight and honor courageous young people who are on the front lines in one of the most important civil and human rights struggles of our time: ending bullying & discrimination and achieving dignity, respect, inclusion, fairness and equality for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people.

The award competition was announced by the Out In The Silence Campaign this past June, and in no time, more than 100 student, youth and ally groups, coast-to-coast and beyond, registered to participate by holding free public events throughout the month of October, which marks LGBT History Month, Ally Week and National Coming Out Day. The events included a wide range of activities - from film screenings, town hall forums and information fairs to art exhibitions, spoken word and original musical performances.

The shortlist of contenders includes:

Naugatuck Valley Community College Gay-Straight Alliance - Waterbury, CT

Queer Action at Virginia Commonwealth University - Richmond, VA

Hammond High School Gay Straight Alliance - Columbia, MD

Oregon Student Equal Rights Alliance - statewide

Community College of Baltimore County Rainbow Club & Honors Program - Essex, MD

Equality Club, Arapahoe Community College - Littleton, CO

Ringling College of Art & Design Gay Straight Alliance - Sarasota, FL

West Chester University's LGBTQA Services - West Chester, PA

Farrington High School Gay Straight Alliance - Honolulu, HI

St. Xavier University Alliance - Chicago, IL

Broward College Gay Straight Alliance, Safe Zone Team & Student Success - Ft. Lauderdale, FL

Aragon High School Gay Straight Alliance - San Mateo, CA

Blackburn College Common Ground - Carlinville, IL

Winners will be announced in The Huffington Post
on International Human Rights Day, December 10, 2011.

Role Models and other Glimpses of Self

A Message from Betty Hill, Executive Director of the Persad Center, the nation’s second oldest licensed counseling center specifically created to serve Pittsburgh's gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender (GLBT) community:


Barbara Grier, lesbian-themed novelist and publisher, died this week. She and 3 other women founded Naiad Press in 1973 “to publish books about lesbians who love lesbians and where the girl is not just going through a phase.”

She was overwhelmed by the volume of orders for her books. While she was surprised at the demand, I am not.

Think about the thrill of a young lesbian who finds a story that reflects how she thinks and feels and loves in the world in the midst of a lifetime of stories and books where she is out of place and cannot relate.

It speaks to me about the need for evidence and reflection that is hungered for by a population of people who are made invisible in their world.


Heterosexism is institutionalized isolation.

In heterosexism, it isn’t just that GLBTQ people are a minority and so you don’t run into them as much as heterosexual people; there is deliberateness about omitting any signs of the minority population’s existence.

It sends the message that there isn’t just fewer of you, “we wish there weren’t any of you.”

GLBTQ people are seeking signs of their existence and of their realities.

You figure out who you are in the world by seeing signs of yourself in others and in aspiring to bring into life what sparks as a glimmer of you in people you admire. Barbara Grier brought stories of lives that were glimmers of hope to the reality and existence of women who love women.


We need visible signs and safe spaces to sort out our way of relating in the world.

This can happen in small and everyday ways where we acknowledge and name the relationship between a family member and his partner, or where we include the possibility that some kids may want bring a same-sex partner to the school dance, or while we watch “Dancing with the Stars” that we talk about the challenges of being transgender, and we make information available to young people about sexual or gender orientation.

Persad works with organizations to help them eliminate institutional heterosexism and homophobia. We can conduct on-site assessments of environments, policies, practices and staff /worker attitudes and understanding, as well as to assist in achieving goals to improve diversity and inclusion.

Designing For Impact: Out In The Silence

from the "Designing For Impact: Social Justice Documentary," a report by the Center for Social Media at American University:


Sometimes fear and hatred come from ignorance. When that occurs, the best way to eliminate hate is to foster understanding.

The film “Out In The Silence” started with an "unexpected" same-sex marriage announcement in the local newspaper of Oil City, PA. Letters and phone calls from all over the town rushed in. A few people showed their support, but many expressed their resentment.

Among the supporters there was a mother. Her gay teenage boy C.J. was being bullied in school so badly that he refused to go to class and even became suicidal.

Joe Wilson and Dean Hamer, the filmmakers and the couple in the marriage announcement, know exactly how it feels to be a gay man in a small town. They found C.J. and were determined to help. They tried to connect people in and outside the LGBT community, searching for common ground.

The results?

"Out in the Silence" is their message to the world. It aims to raise awareness of what LGBT people face especially in relatively rural area. It has inspired so many people, activated so many gay and lesbian organizations and grown into a huge campaign.

Five weeks into our release of "Designing for Impact" report case study, this time we will look at how "Out in the Silence" initiated LGBT campaigns. We will analyze the way the filmmakers have responsed to obstacles, and used various media and distribution channels to build networks and reach out to a broader audience.

Read the full case study report HERE.

Letter from Indonesia: "I Have Decided Not To Run Away"

We receive many beautiful notes from people near and far who have been affected by the stories in "Out In The Silence." This one from Shila in Indonesia is particularly inspiring:


Dear Joe & Dean,

My name is Shila and I’m from Indonesia, a country known as having the largest Muslim population in the world.

I got the chance to see your movie, "Out In The Silence," a few months ago at Q! Film Festival in Jakarta, and I have to say, it was a life-changing experience.

I lived for a few years in Canada just a few months after I came out as a lesbian. Life got easier because Canada is obviously a very gay-friendly country. I also was very blessed with the fact that my family and friends were very accepting about me being gay. Despite all of the love and acceptance given by my loved ones in Indonesia, I still thought that it’s better for me to live in Canada for good and to never come back to closed-minded Indonesia. I wanted to save myself.

But your movie changed me.

I remember you saying how you respect the people who decided to stay in Oil city and have the courage to live their lives openly in that small town portrayed in the film. I thought, wow, you’re right. These courageous people have probably helped and inspired more young kids like CJ compared to those who choose to live openly outside of their hometown.


And then I remembered my friends who organized Q! Film Festival, the biggest queer film festival in Asia, and the overwhelming size of the audiences this year.

Imagine, the biggest queer film festival in Asia is in the largest Muslim-populated country in the world!

My friends decided to stay, even though they could’ve chosen to live elsewhere in the world, and they have made a huge impact in the lives of people here, gay and straight.

I have always wanted to help create a change in the lives of young gay people. You guys have made me realize that, maybe, I could create a better change if I come back to my small-minded hometown and slowly help the people here build awareness towards LGBTIQ people.

How will I do that? I don’t know. But most importantly, I have decided not to run away to Canada anymore, and I thank you guys for that. I really, sincerely, thank you. I hope this realization would be helpful for a lot of young lives here.

Thank you, again.

Regards,

Shila A.
Indonesia